Apprentice Star’s Interview No-show

Followers of this blog may be aware that, personally, my favourite reality show is The Apprentice. So far, I’ve conducted interviews with all of the fired Apprentice candidates. During which, I got Anita Shah to admit to "a natural frown"; Rocky Andrews to label Philip and Kate’s liaison as "a bit Big Brother for me"; Majid to cite James peeing his pants as a reason he wasn’t fired.

In addition, there’s Paula Jones calling Ben Clarke "a thug"; Kimberly Davis blasting Lorraine Tighe as "a Judas" and Noorul revealing that Ben would love to "pose naked on the cover of Heat with a rugby ball in front of his crotch."

 
But Philip Taylor, the John Terry look-alike, is the one that got away. Having apparently exchanged bodily fluids with Nicole Appleton look-alike Kate Walsh, the profile of the one-time bookies’ favourite has soared. Add that to Pants Man, the excruciatingly bad cereal marketing campaign (for a cereal called Wake Up Call? Truly pants, man), and you’ve got a no-show.

I was informed by the PR company rep that there’d be no interview with MSN this week; very little information was forthcoming. Hence, I’ve deduced the following – either the geezer playing tonsil-tennis with hard-nosed blonde Kate couldn’t face dealing with pants questions or he’s hooked up with some kind of tabloid/celeb rag exclusive.

 
From the moment he did that stooooooooopid Pants Man dance in the pitch, I was desperate to get my hands on him (figuratively speaking, of course). Bah humbug! What a great way of avoiding awkward, sticky questions too…or is it? Y’see, I thought I’d have a little fun imagining how the Pants Man himself might’ve responded had I been able to interview him.
 
Fake Apprentice Interview   
 
Me: Pants Man, what’s it gonna take to get you to admit that Pants Man was a rubbish idea?
 
Pants Man: I still think it’s the iPod of cereal marketing.
 
Me: On The Apprentice, you came across as an extremely modest, unassuming and self-deprecating guy…
 
Pants Man: Well, that’s because I’m a good-looking lad. I can sell better than Lorraine, I’ve got a better body than Lorraine, I dress better than her and I’ve got thinner eyebrows too. Have you seen them things on her? She could sweep the streets with ’em.
 
Me: You don’t think much of Lorraine, did you?
 
Pants Man: What’s given you that idea, like?
 
Me: In the boardroom, you seemed convinced that Sir Alan Sugar had it in for you.
 
Pants Man: Call it an instinct. That’s what Lorraine would say anyway.
 
Me: Can you give us a blast of the Pants Man song again?
 
Pants Man: Watch this go top of the pops: "At the start of the day, everybody knows, without your Wake Up Call you put your pants over your clothes! So before you put your pants on and get out of your bed, eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and let the pants between your head. It has apples, bananas, cranberries too; an ABC of fruits we have selected just for you! Memory focus and energy hooray! Eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and put your pants on the right waaaaaaay!" I did that in one take – even Bono couldn’t do better. I’m better looking than him too.
 
Me: Was that a tear we saw as you exited the boardroom?
 
Pants Man: It wasn’t a tear. It was a manly tear. The kind footballers do. Ask John Terry about manly tears.
 
Me: Finally, do you still think you were the right man for the Apprentice job?
 
Pants Man: Of course I do. I’ve got bigger balls than Lorraine – that’s for sure. 

Me: Thanks Pants Man, good luck.

Pants Man: Thanks MSN. And don’t forget, eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and put your pants on the right waaaaaaay!
 
____________________________________________
Today I am mostly lovin’ – Chelsea 1 Barcelona 1 – nuff said.      Hello to my Spurs-supporting mate FamousEccles! Hope all’s good with you and your health. I’ll be answering you via e-mail soon. 
 
Today I am mostly hatin’ – The axing of The South Bank Show; inevitable as Lord Bragg is departing. It’s a real shame that ITV has lost one of its few treasures dedicated to the arts.
 
Noticeboard – Channel 4 and ChildLine have launched an online-only entertainment show – created for young people and by young people. If you’d like to get involved, you’ll find more information about this here at Headspace.
 
MSN Editor Coops
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22 Responses to Apprentice Star’s Interview No-show

  1. Memi says:

    hahahahahaha HILARIOUS! I didnt like him anyway he was sooo full of himself and he really isnt as good looking as people seem to make out he is mediocre at best. Good riddance! Now hope Sir Alan takes Ben out next! thats another one who thinks he\’s God\’s gift when he looks like SpongeBob

  2. Tina says:

    Ha. Spongebob. I like it! I didn\’t like him either, he was too cocky. But I\’m not at all surprised that him and blondie were getting it on. She right from the start protested that she wasn\’t some dumb blonde, now she\’s gone and proved she really is. Sleeps around, applies make up like a cheap stripper, and looks like a polyurethane sex toy when she opens that big gob of hers…

  3. Coops - says:

    Hahahhahaha Tina – "applies make up like a cheap stripper, and looks like a polyurethane sex toy". Genius!

  4. Josie says:

    ok i agree that philip was a bit cocky (and not really goodlookin) but havin a go at kate is a bit unfair…1st of all she doesnt apply make-up like a "cheap stripper" she jst wears makeup and if youve got a problem with that you need to take a look aroundalso werve you got th evidence that she sleeps around?and can you onestly say that you could do aswell as her on th apprentice? cos i doubt itif so go on next year i cant wait but until then shut up about her cos its hardly fair!

  5. Bruno says:

    Come on guys stop being haters……..

  6. Doctor says:

    Very interesting…

  7. joel says:

    ha no, more like to have a go at kate is a bit unair because she is a woman and as we all know women can do what they want whilst being protected from all criticism. i mean it all good for everyone to say how much of a twat that philip bloke was but the moment someone takes a dig at the dumb-arse blonde from the same show who shagged him, another woman who probably can relate with her somehow comes to her defense. to be honest think she looks like a prostitute in an office cosplay outfit and say what you like my opinion will remain unchanged about that.

  8. DotTel says:

    very funny – great writing. first time i\’m reading your blog! keep it going….

  9. SoPhIe says:

    I like them both, she is a good business woman and i hope she wins and he is confident and will go far. Good luck to them both xx

  10. Annie ★ says:

    I thought kate should of won I just thought she was better . Anyway good luck to them I think kate will do very well in life ! anyway it is over now !WHAT AM I GONNA WATCH NOW ON WEDNESDAY NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. sayed says:

    yasmina has always been consistent unlike kate who everyone wants to win cause of her looks

  12. nellie257 says:

    glad that Yasmina won-she deserves it, think that Kate only wanted it for the prestige. She did do well though and am sure that she\’ll end up a \’director\’ of some company before long. Even though James came across as a bit of a tube, I liked him-enjoyed watching him flapping and squirming in the boardroom every other week! Best wishes to all the candidates though, I couldn\’t have done half of the things they did!

  13. Becca says:

    Kate shud have won!!! Yasmina had her own restaurant!!!! It was stolen from her!!!!! At the end of the day Kate should hae won and yasmina second or maybe even third!!

  14. homer says:

    well if i had to pick a winner i would have gone for the hapless idiot- james, and only because he would have injected alan sugar with some type of humour lolyasmina is a very crude person, totally focused on business in the money sense and not on quality. She totally knew what she was doing in the soap making episode and made the team leader spend too much, but i suppose that was the team leaders fault in admitting that costing was not one of her strong points and so the vultures came and took advantage of it!And as for the catering task all yasmina could think of was to get the cheapest of ingredients from the cheapest supermarket and make it seem that a michellin chef had done the catering, but obviously it never worked, i\’m definately not going to her restaurant! lol

  15. Laura says:

    I wanted Debra 2 win she was hilarious and the most honest in the interviews. I think Sir Alan wanted her to be in the final.

  16. Ronnie says:

    Well Yasmin was self employed so I would think she has more guts, its not about being good looking, a know it all, it is about delivering, and to do that you need guts.

  17. Kimberley says:

    for Gods sake!!!! Who cares!!!!

  18. David says:

    Yasmina is thick. She shudnt have won at all!

  19. Unknown says:

    i thought kate had it in the bag, i really dont like yasmina! she already has her own business so why doesnt she give someone else a turn, after all what more can she really acheive?

  20. Alyson says:

    I really thought Kate should have got through I think Yasmina who has her own business would be wanting to give someone else a chance, and Kate was always smiley, and I thought she done brilliant at the tv recordings, maybe she could pursue something there?

  21. holly says:

    kate totally deserved to win. Yasmina came across as a really horrible person some of the time, and she already had a busines. Kate deserved the opportunity, and she was awesome all the challenges 🙂 WE LOVE YOU KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Tina says:

    Sass me all you like for my opinion on Kate but though I cannot fault how good she is at business, i just couldn\’t bear how cheap her make up looked. I see women who wear make up all the time, I\’m also bi who prefers women, and I like lipstick lesbians. It\’s not women wearing make up I find offensive, it\’s when it;s done BADLY, and Kate\’s was always done badly.That with the fake blonde hair that\’s been GHDd to death, that\’s what gave her the polyurethane sex toy look. And her constantly repeating that she didn;\’t want people to take her for just some dumb blonde, well to be honest, she acted like one. Her nbusiness tactics were largely based on sex sells. This is very true, but it;s the easy way out. It\’s a weak businessperson who will use this tactic to sell their product. A strong businessperson will think of something uch more original. And her sleeping around with Pants Man, well, how is that NOT dumb blonde behaviour? Not only did she make all the text book flirts right in front of the camera, when that pair were quizzed on it in the boardroom, she admitted to Sir Alan that she went with him to distract him from his job, thus making her a shoe in. That;s dumb. The guy clearly really cared for her. Smart women do NOT breed that kind of contempt amongst their colleagues. It\’;s just sheer stupidity. As for my cheap stripper joke – I\’ve been to strip clubs. I\’ve worked in one. She looked like my blonde fellow dancer. Withthat make up and the peroxide blonde hair.Can I say that I would do as well as her on The Apprentice? Yes I can. I owned my own business for a long time. Ran it successfully. I closed my business because I have a degenerative health condition, and I became so ill I can now no longer work. But just because I\’m rheumatoid does not mean I do not still have a brain in my head.So josie, before you go accusing me or anyone else who dares to speak out about people you\’ve liked, please get your OWN facts right. I got all mine from the show. I can read betwen the lines, unlike you it would seem.joel, thanks for the back up, be it direct or indirect. It did sound very much like that girl only didn\’t like e having a go at Kate because women are not allowed to be hated on by other women or men for that matter because apparently women can do no wrong. We all know this is not true. We are still just people. We mes up just as much as men do. And Kate messed up. "a prostitute in an office cosplay outfit". THANK YOU! That\’s EXACTLY the look!! Cheap stripper was about as close as my brain would allow me tocome at the time for a description lol.I\’m not hating. Well, maybe just a little. But all perfectly well founded. I\’m an equal opportunities hater though. I didn\’t think much of Pants Man either. He wasn\’t too bright either, letting business and pleasure mix.

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