Paris Hilton, Paparazzi And Plonkers

Fancy being Paris Hilton’s British ‘best friend’? If so, you need the following: bad hair, bad skin, bad teeth, bad extensions, bad dye-jobs and bad clothes. If you’ve caught the promo trailers, you’ll know that I’m referring to ITV2’s new reality show starring the American It Girl. In Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend, the heiress jets into the UK with one mission: to find herself a bestest buddy from Blighty. Rule Britannia! I caught a preview of the first episode at the paparazzi-swarmed press launch held in a classy central London hotel. Oh, the irony! If the venue had reflected the programme’s tone and content, we’d have all been invited to Faliraki to hang out with the only chavs not on the show.

The 12 contestants (11 women and one man – and before you ask, yes, he’s gay) are a reality TV sub-species unlike any other; so shallow and fame-hungry that Big Brother producers would probably reject them for being too desperate. Each week, the house-sharing wannabes are set tasks and challenges and two of the hopefuls are then up for elimination. When Paris decides who is going to be sent home, she diss-misses (intentional misspelling) them with something like the following: "[insert contestant’s name], I’m afraid you’re not going to be my British Best Friend. Talk To You Never. TTYN." Said hopeful collapses from grief at the realisation that their passport to (albeit short-lived) fame is over…until X Factor auditions roll around again, that is.

To say the premise borrows heavily from America’s Next Top Model, Tyra Banks’ reality hit, is putting it lightly. I half expected her runway coach Miss J to show up and teach the hopefuls how to get out of a limo with their – to quote Jade Goody – "kebabs" fully exposed in true z-list style. The contestants are all we’ve come to expect with this genre, but why Paris Hilton’s signed on is the real mystery. She clearly doesn’t need the money; she’s papped as a matter of course so she doesn’t need the profile either and nobody in their right mind will seriously believe that her only way of finding new friends is via a reality show.
Still, I’m not complaining. Not when we’re treated to frank assessments of her world ("My best friends are my sister and Nicole. The other girls in LA are just…sluts.") or given a candid insight into her LA life – she’s got her own nightclub…upstairs in her mansion! Her pets live in a doggy palace and her designer label-clothes are stuffed into closets bigger than yer average department store. Despite the overwhelming feeling of déjà vu, Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend is essential viewing; tacky, vulgar and gaudy, it’s so bad, it’s good.

Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend, ITV2, Thursdays at 9pm


Today I am mostly lovin’ – Remember the days when ITV churned out brilliant, unforgettable drama? Well, as part of ITV4’s Cult Classic strand, you will find a welcome re-run (in its entirety!) of Auf Wiedersehen Pet. First broadcast in 1983, it was an unlikely comedy hit about a group of British labourers forced to work in Germany during a recession in Thatcher’s era. Scripted by Porridge’s Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, its main players include: Tim Healy (as Dennis), Kevin Whately (Neville), Jimmy Nail (Oz), Timothy Spall (Barry), the late Pat Roach (Bomber) and the late Gary Holton (Wayne). Superlative, comedy drama that remains the very best of British.  

Today I am mostly hatin’ –
I’m a huge fan of Beverly Hills 90210 (I have every episode on tape) so I tuned into E-Friends’ new 90210. The young girls on that show are all soooo skinny, they make Keira Knightley look like Dawn French in comparison. I watched the old series’ pilot episode again; Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty were slim (especially the former) and healthy. A much better image to send out to impressionable young girls.

MSN Editor Coops
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44 Responses to Paris Hilton, Paparazzi And Plonkers

  1. Jason says:

    Coops, too funny! Caustic….caustic…..

  2. Coops - says:

    Hello Jason mate – I thought I was rather restrained. 😉

  3. jovita says:

    agreeing to participate in a show like this its like joining websites like "date a milionaire" as if u r really looking for a "soulmate"

  4. emma says:

    argh!!!!!!!!! this girl annoys my happiness!!!!! is this the crap that our tv licences go towards paying for?

  5. Maddi says:

    I dont like Paris much but I do like her new show, there is something really entertaining about it.

  6. JANET says:

    Since when has Paris Hilton been a celebrity superstar (as introduced by Andrea on Loose Women)? I\’m not sure what she is famous for apart from being rich. Perhaps it is because she has been in prison and bought her way out of there? Now apparently she can \’buy\’ a best friend. Even the most shallow person must find this show repulsive, or do I live on another planet?

  7. quoling says:

    Note that sadly Pat Roach is no longer with us.

  8. Coops - says:

    quoling – noted. I\’ve amended the text to reflect this.

  9. ashleigh says:

    pathetic, if she is such a superstar why come here to do the most cringeworthy show that z listers normally do, she is so fake, she is lowered to the level of jodie marsh!!

  10. JANET says:

    Agreed Ashleigh. Ugh Paris Hilton AND Jodie Marsh. The epitome of bad taste!

  11. claire says:

    who gives a monkey\’s when the likes of jade goody are fighting for life, that bimbo,paris hilton is just trying to big her image up in the uk, its no good paris, mud sticks and you will always be that tart in the porn !!!!!

  12. Paul says:

    Love to know who paid for this show to be made, do the line up of best friends in the show really think paris will remain in contact with them when the show has finished. This show is so fake, I cant wait to see who gets booted out next. But I think we should ask " why do people watch it " does this say more about us rather than paris and the people who made the programe….Worth a laugh anyway.

  13. Hollie says:

    She\’s already done this in the US and already ditched the winner. Do any of the people participating really think this is going to get them more than 2 weeks\’ attention if they win, tops?

  14. nouhad says:

    Aside from that ridiculous,shallow and cheap show, one may ask who the hell is Paris bloody Hilton famous for? she cannot sing, act nor is she that beauty, but only famous for a porno movie all over the internet, and she is even bad at that, not to mention that she wears a size 11 shoes, yak… Honestly ,Her wannabe guests are so airheads and especialy that puff too… why in hell they want to be friends with a spoiled bitch?

  15. nouhad says:

    Paris Hilton? I agree with Anna: Porn wannabe, (and bad at that) , ex con, Cant sing, act, uneducated, nor is she a beauty, what monkey wants to be her friend? maybe that desperate puff?..

  16. bryan says:

    I resent that i have to share the same planet as oxygen stealers like the talentless Paris or Lionel rithie\’s talentless daughter or the increasingly growing list of US and UK non celebs who get on tv without any actual talent for anything and i despise the people the watch their shows and i feel they should have their tv\’s confiscated. I\’ve never seen this show never will see this show or anything Paris she is a stick thin ugly stupid yank.

  17. liz says:

    hmm i think anyone goin to be her best friend is gonna be needing a psychiatrist [spell]its full of bitchy fake females, that just want to be known in the world… hmm

  18. Eira says:

    Come on – enough is enough, who cares if Paris Hilton has a best friend or not when so many people in the UK are losing their homes and their jobs. I know how about a reality show showing that, or would it be tooooo depressing. Enough reality TV, pleaseeeee NO MORE!!!!! By glamourising people like her, young girls are going to follow suit, whether we want them to or not. Come on TV producers, start thinking about the impact you are having on the up-coming generations! How about a damn good drama, or even a variety show. ?????

  19. judy says:

    Why even comment on the show, therebye adding to it\’s dubious merits Whoops just done it! From Jude the obscure

  20. Unknown says:

    television is a dying medium and rubbish like this is another example of how t.v. execs have lost the plot.I remember c4 when it first came on air it was modern and controversial now with the so called reality shows and censorship it is lame and boring(just why are the Simpsons the most censored show on the channel),as for ITV from the best to the worst channel in 15yrs,so bad in fact I watch some obscure sat channels more in a day than ITV in a year.There is no quality on t.v. today,there are some quality actors out there but quality costs but you get what you pay for and you cannot complain when you pay peanuts and get monkeys in return.I do not see t.v. getting better it will go through a slump similar to that suffered by cinema in the 70s & early 80s,but like everything else in life people will ask where did it all go wrong?

  21. Zoe says:

    Desperate for cash t.v. producers at it again. I must admit I have never watched an episode of this laughable, sad excuse for a programme to have the cheek to air on our screens but luckily enough I have the fantastic excuse not to watch due to watching the EXCELLENT "VICTORIAN FARM", on at exactly the same time.

  22. John and Ela says:

    The Wife and I watch because it is pathetically funny…..a luaugh a minute…not my BBF……TTYN.. 😛

  23. Charlotte says:

    URGH. Just how much more can we take? Big Brother, I\’m A Celeb, The X Factor (don\’t get me started on that one)… It\’s relentless! Reality TV? Its vacuous contestants, promises of being \’famous\’, and bizarre, yawn-a-minute content are why it\’s nothing LIKE reality. These are programmes designed to catapult total idiots into instant fame and fortune for a few weeks, while there are decent, hard-working people who can\’t find a job or afford to pay the mortgage. And it\’s extremely sad knowing it\’s not going to stop any time soon.

  24. francesca says:

    I got shortlisted from 10,000 applicants to the final 300 girls to be on this show but when I saw the people who were going to be on it I thought to myself \’No way can I live with these people\’ and turned around and drove straight home. SO glad I did. I\’m the complete opposite of everyone on that show & I only applied as a joke. I didnt seriously think they\’d want me to audition!

  25. jaz says:

    This show is nothing more than sad. Why doesn\’t she do something useful with her money,or is she just that shallow? People starving in the world, and here on television we have some pathetic little jumped up madam who has come to England to look for a friend. If this is the case then maybe half of the people on match makers need to get their own time slot on ITV2 or a cable show. I just hope the flight wasn\’t too tiring for her :|.

  26. Lexi says:

    i love paris hilton…. she is my idol x

  27. olga says:

    Lyly.No talents,not to smart for her age,plus usial so…….. usial looking gerl.She sooooo bored.#I wish to Paris Hilton-grow up!!Best wishes and regards.Thank you.Lyly

  28. Louise says:

    I forget what ITV stands for, so It\’s Totally Vacuous will do. I wonder if ITV2 is responding to a sharp drop in IQs or is one of the causes.

  29. bryan says:

    Lexi please tell me you\’re kidding how can anyone idolise her, Paris is a vacuous waste of space, to claim she\’s your idol is just sad. What has the sttupid bottle blonde aneorexic ever done to deserve idolising. Shame on you

  30. kate. says:

    Seriously, no offence to anyone here, but: who effing cares who your best friend is, you annoying, talentless, bratty celebrity?

  31. eeeemily says:

    Totally Agree with Kate, Who would class her as a celebrity!?!?! No-one likes her && How she got into fame can puzzle people, Leave the reality shows on ITV to people with talent, brains and something worth watching.!

  32. Faye says:

    made me laugh when she asked…."who wants to be my pet for the day" WTF

  33. Maddi says:

    i like her show, its just so trashy and easy to watch! but then I also like celebrity big brother so haha its clear my taste is a little "low brow" sometimes……I eat trashy TV for breakfast!

  34. Gemma says:

    i love it lets face it there nothing else on tv to watch

  35. Coops - says:

    Really sorry No name, but no external linking allowed. No namewrote: This show made me so sick and angry I made this little tribute:

  36. - aamy says:

    ii Love Paris!She is My idol To!

  37. angie says:

    oh grow up you idiots it\’s just a another show i just best your all jealous cos you wasn\’t picked to be on lmao so your the one whos a loser

  38. Katie says:

    Paris Hilton scares me!! She is EVERYWHERE!!!

  39. xxPippaxx says:

    Paris may be bratty and everything, but it what scares me most is the girl is set for world domination, and she thinks gordon ramsey\’s priminister!

  40. claire says:

    I heard Paris hilton on the radio a few days ago and the DJ was asking about this program and whether she would really keep the winner as a friend, to which she replied "I\’ll talk to them on the phone, we\’ll keep each others numbers"…………sounds to me like this is typical paris hilton…….GREEDY for attention…..she wont keep them as a friend, this is just another way for her to get on tv…..what a tw*t

  41. eilidh says:

    I feel sorry for her Tbhh. You Have to host a show to find some one so hungry for undeserved fame that they go on a show to be your friend. Its stupid that friend means going on a reality show and buying her gifts and basically doing weird crap for her. I feel even more sorry for the pople on the show. they take it soooo seriously when clearly paris doesnt care a bit about any of them. This one girl got asked to look after Paris\’s Dog and she was like. \’It Would be an honour\’ I Was LIKE WHAAAAAT

  42. Calandra says:

    Cara, please do\’nt worry about the girls in paris\’s show being prettier than you. They\’re probably prettier than me too, I do\’nt know because I have\’nt got alot of time for a bimbo trying to boost her image in Britain by slagging off her contemporaries in LA.

  43. Coops - says:

    Thanks for your comments cara and No name, thank you for your message to cara. Anyone that puts themselves in the public eye will be assessed and critiqued in some form or another. It\’s probably telling that the first thing Paris did with them was a makeover (it really should\’ve been a make-under. They were all wearing soooooo much falseness and most of them were waaaaaay too orange). Cara, like you, the kids on that show are young and they\’ll grow into their looks, and their bodies eventually. There\’s a reason why few people like looking at old pictures of themselves. My advice? Don\’t compare yourself to anyone – you\’ve got to be the best that you can be. As for the teeth thing? Well, that\’s us Brits for the most part. My teeth aren\’t all that great either.

  44. Luana says:

    cant stand the girl, i dont watch the prog but she is everywhere!!!

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