Laughing At ITV2’s Zeleb Air

They’re dancing; they’re stuck in a house; they’re cooking; they’re in a jungle; they’re on a farm; they’re wrestling; they’re cutting hair; they’re singing…is there anything left for zelebrities to do? Actually yes. ITV2 scratched around and found something…Celeb Air. This reality show will follow a group of – excuse my French – celebrities as they take on a variety of roles associated with being airline employees. Hear that? No? Well slant your head slightly….it’s the sound of a barrel being scraped.

So who signed up? Well there’s Neighbours actor Dan O’Connor. Heard of him? He was an Australian Idol winner and he plays Ned Parker in Neighbours. Ring a bell? No? Well, don’t worry. He’s hardly Jason Donovan. Then there’s X Factor star Chico Slimani. My mum doesn’t remember who won X Factor 2007, but she remembers Chico. And get this, he’s arguably one of Zeleb Air’s bigger stars.

Ex-Blazin’ Squad member Kenzie is also taking part. Big Brother fans will recall his appearance in the third instalment of the Celebrity edition. However, I’m into rap so I knew him first as part of Blazin’ Squad – the UK rappers that murdered Bone Thugs-n-Harmony classic Tha Crossroads. In addition there’s American-born Brit Amy Lame (she’s a radio/TV presenter), former Hear’say has-been member Johnny Shentall, ex-Steps star and fame desperado Lisa Scott-Lee, fab singer but lousy fashion adviser Mica Paris, haggard former It Girl and socialite Tamara Beckwith, glamour model Michelle Marsh (who?), comedian Phil Cornwell and finally – So Solid Crew’s main female performer Lisa Maffia. Well, if MC Harvey and Asher D (now familiar as acclaimed actor Ashley Walters) can make the move away from So Solid, so can Lisa – but why this show Lisa? WHY?!

Yes, OK – it’s ITV2 and yes it hasn’t aired yet. But come on! Even for a reality show – this sounds really daft. What I find especially irksome is that ITV found room in their schedule for this inane pap, but not for Redgrave’s Raw Recruits. For the unaware, five times Olympic gold medallist Sir Steve Redgrave attempted to turn a squad of inner city Liverpool youngsters into top class rowers. They became known as the ‘Liverpool 8’ and their story formed part of a truly inspirational documentary. The search for recruits began way back in 2005 and included the shiftless, the aimless and the severely disadvantaged (one youth was the son of a heroin addict and he himself was facing prison).

The programme should’ve aired in 2006 but it finally premiered this summer. Two years later. One theory advanced for the disgraceful delay centres around the lads’ failure – by three seconds – to qualify for the Henley Royal Regatta. Maybe ITV wanted the Rocky II ending and the underdog finally winning. Who knows? However, in a summer where Britannia ruled the waves at the Beijing Olympics, ITV missed the boat shoving this onto ITV4 instead of giving it pride of place on ITV1. It’s flogging primetime flops that nobody wants to watch – the likes of Harley Street and yawn-inducing Trinny and Susannah tripe – but Redgrave’s Raw Recruits got such a raw deal. Shame on them.

Today I am mostly lovin’ – The BBC’s Olympic coverage was fantastic and Adrian Chiles was on top form, I thought.

Today I am mostly hatin’ – Omigod. That London Olympic Handover party on BBC1 was beyond cringy. McFly slaughtering Abba? Scouting For Girls mullering The Clash? Sophie Ellis-Bextor sounding like a cat being run over as she warbled The Spy Who Loved Me? Claudia Winkleman insisting (every handover) that it was all ‘fantastic’? An embarrassment.

MSN Editor Coops
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15 Responses to Laughing At ITV2’s Zeleb Air

  1. kayleigh says:

    omg get over yourself all you hav done is slated the show hasnt even been on yet.. why dont to wait and watch a few episode before clearing it into the ground. and then you still carried onto to insult singers and bands.. you must be really old because i no loads of people that enjoyed the london olympic handover party. jst let it go and stop being such a miserable oldy!!!!!

  2. Coops - says:

    (no name) – As you can see, I\’m a tad sceptical about the televisual merits of Celeb Air. The concept sounds as desperate as the zelebs. That\’s my pipe and I\’m smoking it…. As for the London Olympic Handover Party, I really don\’t think age is a barrier to recognising when a song is being slaughtered. Credit where credit is due, the cast of We Will Rock You! did exactly what they said on the tin. They rocked. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Laura says:

    Who cares what some semi-literate hoody thinks – not that it\’s particularly clear what they think; don\’t they teach punctuation or spelling in school any more?
    Your comments are spot on as always.  Must admit I might tune in to Celebair, but only to see the fabulous Andi Peters travelling as a passenger; from the phone call he made to Chris Moyles the other morning he didn\’t seem too impressed with the standard of celebs himself!

  4. Coops - says:

    Thanks Millie – nice to have your support. Of course I will have to tune in to Zeleb Air….it\’s my job after all. I would say that this is a television nadir…but ITV1 got there first with Celebrity Wrestling.

  5. Robert says:

    I hate to say this Coops but I\’m afraid I\’m with you on this one.
    If I have to suffer another mind numbingly boring Celebrity Reality TV show, then the rest of Tv civilisation will be consigned to the dustbin, it wouldn\’t be so bad if we knew who half of these people were.  As for that so called "Celebrity Wrestling" there was no wrestling to speak of, it was more like Celebrity Gladiators, albeit in the ring..they should\’ve called it something far more realistic like "Celebrity Battlezone" or something like that.
    Although I\’m A Celebrity isn\’t all that bad…Ant, Dec and even Mark Durden Smith make that watchable, however Angelica Bell you have a tough enough job on your hands, can you say desperate and former childrens TV presenter who\’ll put her name to the opening of an envelope?
    And as for the so called trailers, they\’re naff as well.

  6. sara says:

    I\’m quite looking forward to watching celeb air. Only because I am cabin crew and I have seen them walking around the airport with their noses in the air actually thinking they are proper cabin crew instead of some desperate wannabe\’s! It will be interesting to see how they cope under pressure as the job is very hard and tiring and people seem to have a misconception that it is just pushing a cart up and down the aisle! This will probably be the hardest job they have had in their life. I\’m surprised they managed to get through the training course as its very intense and real people who have the passion to do this job sometimes struggle. The passengers will more than likely give them a hard time if they recognise them (highly doubted!) and I hope they do. These zelebs have probably demanded more money then we make in a year and they do less then half the work! They fly one way and come back as passenger. Also the rest of the REAL cabin crew have to correct their mistakes and do their jobs too. Cabin Crew are there for safety, I don\’t think I would feel safe as a passenger knowing I have some fame hungry z-lister looking after me!

  7. Coops - says:

    Oooooh Sara! Thank you so much for your comment. If you\’ve got more juicy gossip, we\’d all love to hear it. 🙂

  8. Vanda says:

    She was right to slate it , it was complete rubbish !!. Mica Paris, why did she even go on it if she can\’t hack a 9 to 5 job !!! – my heart bleeds for them !!

  9. Sam says:

    I\’d hate to be the airline stupid enough to employ this lot, if I got onto a plane and saw Chico there claiming to be part of the staff I\’d be screaming to get back off before I\’d even sat down! (Picking on Chico because he\’s the only one of the lot I\’d recognise.) I\’d think it was part of some horrible nightmare to be honest.
    Redgrave\’s Raw Recruits sounds like it was a good show, I\’d actually have liked to watch that if I\’d known about it.
    Also I had a discussion with my family about what the definition of the word "celebrity" is when I was watching I\’m A Celebrity last year (I like Ant and Dec, they\’re great presenters so I watch pretty much anything I know they\’re presenting), and we came to the conclusion that in a few years time we\’ll be hard pushed to find a "normal" person who isn\’t a celebrity when all you have to do to become one is apparently get to be known by more than half a dozen people.

  10. Sam says:

    Sorry meant to say this in my other post
    (no name) you honestly make me ashamed to admit I\’m not old enough for you to call me "a miserable oldy" because given the choice I\’d prefer to be "a miserable oldy" than a teenager if we have people like you representing us. Although that cloud does have a silver lining in that chances are as a sensible person, you\’d probably hate me on sight anyway. 🙂

  11. Sam says:

    They need to let us delete our comments so I could delete those I\’ve posted and put it all together.
    Sorry for posting a third comment everyone but I realised this as I posted my last comment, I meant to say "as I\’m a sensible person" (no name) would probably hate me on sight, wasn\’t being insane enough to call (no name) sensible lol

  12. Coops - says:

    Don\’t worry Sam – you\’re very welcome. Thanks for your comments. 🙂

  13. Julie says:

    Coops (and other peoples…) you\’re just jealous. The people on the show might not be that famous but they sure are smart as with the show they\’d have got payed quite a bob and different opportunites (not many I know) like payed interviews would have came along around the time of the launch.
    \’Millies\’ comment, "what some semi-literate hoody thinks" (LOL wat?) get a life… that whole acting smart thing is a bit old.
    love love :l

  14. Coops - says:

    Jealous? Heavens, it\’s such a cop-out of an accusation and truly wishful thinking Julie. What on earth does Kenzie have that I should envy? Or fame desperado Lisa Scott-Lee? Or former Hear\’say has-been Johnny Shentall? I love Mica Paris\’ voice – but I\’ve already acknowledged that…

  15. elizabeth says:

    I think that itv still running zelebair ! is disgraceful…i have a son who recently has been made redundant as cabin crew ..with no pay help or support ….so the fact that this programme is still running is a complete insult ,for all the poor people who have lost jobs recently …still with the pathetic zelebs what would you expect ..maybe they will offer to share their fees with some of the hard working cabin crew that now have no livlihood ! HA HA //yea right !

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