Surely it’s not just me? I guess there’s only one way to find out. Here are my 10 television truisms of the moment…
1. The person who last used the remote control (whether it’s for the TV, DVD, video, etc) can never remember where they left it. As far as I’m concerned, this should be grounds for divorce.
2. Keira Knightley’s advert for Chanel Coco Mademoiselle will always air during Paramount Comedy Channel’s Sex And The City repeats. And just in case anyone asks, it’s Joss Stone covering L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole, not Mariah Carey.
3. It’s impossible to miss annoying adverts: Ladbrokes ("Oooooooooh-eeeer!"), non-UK boy with stinky poo ("It’s all gorrrrrrn! It’s all gorrrrrrrrrn!"), Pictures loans ("Dad’s found yer scoot-ah!"), Morrisons ("I like my bread fresh..") et al.
4. Conversely, you’re always on the loo when an advert you love comes on ("Quick! You’re missing that advert you really like!").
5. Channel Five will always cut to a commercial break at the most inappropriate times during Columbo.
6. X Factor auditions are not funny anymore
7. Despite the abundance of TVs in a home, if the biggest and best telly is in the living room, there will still be arguments over what to watch.
8. The volume of the adverts on UKTV Gold, MTV and the Paramount Comedy Channel is loud enough to wake the dead….I saw Oscar Wilde in Borders and asked for his autograph.
9. It is no longer possible to find out the name of an actor via the end credits…unless you can read squeezed text.
10. Gorilla + Phil Collins does not = chocolate
Feel free to add your own TV truisms or a comment in general.
Today I am mostly lovin’ – It’s good to be a Gooner. Famouseccles, my Spurs supporting friend, if you’re out there – look on the bright side and remember the 1980s when your lot did better than my lot..
Today I am mostly hatin’ – My internet service provider. I have no Broadband; they have a technical call centre in India. They don’t understand my sarf London accent, I can’t decipher some of theirs (I’ve spoken to loads of people). It’s soooooo frustrating! And I still have no Broadband. Grrrrrrrr!
MSN Editor Coops