Channel hopping can be an eye-popping experience these days as you’re never quite sure what you’ll find out there in TV land. A couple of days ago, I zapped and landed on Flavor Flav, the clock-wearing showman of controversial rap group Public Enemy. Currently on MTV UK in a dating reality series, he’s the wealthy bachelor looking for love. Now admittedly, I didn’t see the original pool of 20 females, but the final three bursting out of their dresses looked like a bevy of yer typical rap video hootchie hos. The names the women go by include: Bootz, Buckeey, Buckwild, Krazy, Like Dat, Saaphyri and Toastee. Considering that their prize is Flavor Flav, this is obviously a match made in heaven.
During the commercial break, a promo ran for Totally Jodie Marsh. The tabloid favourite is scouring the nation for a hubby. As sick and tired of the single life as we are of her, the Tango-tastic Essex girl hopes to find her very own Prince Charming. There’s something so right about Jodie Marsh resorting to a tacky reality show, with contestants pooled from the general public no less, in order to find love. If there’s one house I’d beg and plead to sit down and watch this in, it’s the home of the Andres. Oh to see Jordan’s (no doubt smug) face as she watches her desperate rival.
Not so long ago, I stopped the remote on Living 2’s US import Maury. Now that Jenny Jones is no more (remember her?), veteran broadcaster Maury Povich has taken her crown for fronting the tackiest, trashiest talk show on TV. "What about Jerry Springer?" I hear some of you cry. That programme doesn’t count because it descended into self-parody yonks ago. And Jerry knows it too. It’s all about Maury now. "So what about Jeremy Kyle/Trisha?" Puhleez. I’m not even going there.
Back to Maury and there’s absolutely nothing I can say that South Park hasn’t said for me. If you’ve seen the episode Freak Strike, you’ll know that South Park served Maury on a platter; it was satire with a capital S. Cartman dressed as a girl and pretended to be an out of control kid in order to get a gift from Maury. "Whatever! I do what I want!" he frequently yelled at the audience. However, he was bested by a four-month-old baby girl named Chantal who took her clothes off in front of everybody. Genius stuff.
Today I am mostly lovin’ – The BBC for buying Heroes. No more annoying adverts!
Today I am mostly hatin’ – Black actors who can’t do Jamaican accents – you know who you are (anyone watch The Bill and EastEnders yesterday?). They make my ears bleed.