Big Brother’s Big Yawner

 
The next time Davina McCall squeaks excitedly about a must-see Big Brother twist, take that as your cue to go and do something more interesting instead: like collecting paperclips or bookbinding. The sad truth is that, like last year, the people working on one of the UK’s biggest reality shows, couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel containing 100 nubile Marilyn Monroe look-alikes.
 
A case in point, one element of Big Brother 8’s much-trumpeted Fake Week is over: false housemate Pauline (Pooooohline), played by actress Thaila Zucchi, has left the house. She was exposed. Rumbled. Found out. And by a set of housemates who, with a couple of exceptions, have the intelligence of a goldfish. How embarrassing is that? I’d love to be at her next audition: "Thaila, what was your last part?" "I played a fake Australian housemate in Big Brother 8’s Fake Week. I had to convince the housemates that I was genuine." "How long did you last?" "Two days."
 
Even if you allow for the possibility that, as the shopping task, Big Brother didn’t intend for Pooooohline to go the distance, this is still a huge let-down after all the hype that preceded it. Remember that feeling of high anticipation after Laura’s eviction show? She was just starting to stir things up in there too: adding the green-eyed monster to the wearisome toxic ‘showmance’ between Chanelle and Ziggy (Chiggy); flirting with both Durham’s favourite plank Liam and endearingly-blank Essex boy Brian, messing with the single brain cell rattling around in each of their heads; allowing us to use our Dulux paint colour cards to chart the shades of Charley’s increasingly brown nose (it had been rooted up Pooooohline’s bum since her arrival). For the record, her hooter matched Dulux’s Bitter Chocolate 2.
 
If nothing else, at least Big Brother has been consistently useless. It’s not as if they didn’t warn us with the very first pointless twist (one lone male in an oestrogen-filled house) – it’s just that we didn’t believe the stupidity would be so brilliantly sustained. Another damp squib of a twist that also spectacularly backfired was the ‘surprise’ cash giveaway. Nominated housemates Jonathan, Carole and Seany had one minute to pick someone to win £100,000 and they all chose Durham’s favourite plank Liam. The twist? Housemates believe his money has replaced the prize given to the series winner. The hoped-for reaction? Conflict, confrontation and confusion. The reality? Lead balloon. Like Davina’s BBC chat show, a resounding flop.
 
One senses that Fake Week is just about a last throw of the dice for this series. Although not the turgid bore that Big Brother 7 was (Snoozy Susie anyone?), the show is still a million miles away from its glory year of 2004 which saw Nadia Almada emerge as the winner of Big Brother 5, the year Big Brother turned ‘Evil’. Truth is, Big Brother 8 has become background noise; the telly’s on while the dishes are being washed or the internet is being surfed. For this reason, the second part of Fake Week, the fake eviction, must be a success. Charley and Nicky are nominated and the ‘loser’ will go straight back into the house after being interviewed by Davina McCall. If nothing else, at least Fake Week kept Charley in, and as a result, viewers watching what would otherwise be a very Big Yawner. A lot hinges on Friday for the people behind Big Brother; if it’s a disaster, all Fake Week would’ve done is made Big Charley’s of them all.
Got a view on Big Brother 8’s twists? Are you still watching avidly watching the show, or have you given up? Share your views here and check out our fab Big Brother coverage.
 
Today I am mostly lovin’ – Big Brother 8’s Brian. Soooo nice but dim. "Happy Birthday Brian!" "Happy Birthday Big Brother!" Genius.
 
Today I am mostly hatin’ – Chiggy’s ‘showmance’. Slamming my tongue in a door would be less painful.
 
MSN Editor Coops
 
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18 Responses to Big Brother’s Big Yawner

  1. zenab says:

    i H8 BB it is a complete waste of tym

  2. Graeme says:

    You seemed to find a lot of things to say about something you\’ve childishly branded as boring.  Indeed, the wit displayed in being more critical than resident moanaholic Nicky (suppose she\’s another reason it\’s so tedious, eh?) is so astonishing I don\’t think I\’ll be able to sleep for a week. Yes, imitation is mockery.  And wow, the observation about Charley\’s nose and Pauline\’s backside, erm, wonder if you noticed that yourself or borrowed it from what house genius (well, she has the highest IQ) Chanelle spewed during last night\’s nominations.  Oh well, I suppose small minds think alike. Who\’s paying you for writing such nonsense?  Even if you were doing it for free, they\’d be getting ripped off.  Next time write something less attetion-seeking and more balanced.  Actually, don\’t bother with a next time.

  3. Unknown says:

    I hate to agree with you, but your right. The twists have been pretty lame and this hasn\’t been the best Big Brother. Had to laugh about the Dulux chart and Charley!

  4. Unknown says:

    Sorry Kaiser Soze, but Charley\’s arse-licking was obvious even if Chanelle hadn\’t said it. She arse-licks to any new person. I\’ve been thinking this about Big Brother for a long time now and now someone\’s said all I\’ve been thinking.

  5. Adam says:

    nah, i agree completely with kevin spacey – strange how people complain about BB every time its on yet millions of people still watch it every night. Including this writer, who quite obviously loves it and watches it constantly with a guilty smile on her face. She just doesn\’t want to admit she likes something as dumbed-down as BB.
     
    Unlucky, love, you\’re hooked.

  6. Stewart says:

    i think that over the past few years bb has turned itself from one of the shows I wouldn\’t miss into one I would avoid at all costs! I used to like it but I feel it has gone too far in what it can do in terms of keeping the viewers!

  7. Graeme says:

    Eww, the Dulux chart thing, I\’d stopped reading by then cos I\’d got, ahem, bored.  Isn\’t that a bit, well, racist? Cue a million people explaining why it isn\’t racist because it\’s merely coincidence that Charley\’s skin colour is… oh wait… just proved my point. Quick MSN, do the sensible thing, evict the blogger!  

  8. Daniel says:

    Congratz to all the r-tards only figuring this out now.
     
    BREAKING NEWS……..MSN TELLS US WHATS COOL AND WHATS …..UPDATED DAILY

  9. John says:

    Hi Guys,Well, I personally thought that Pooh bear should have got an oscar for her performance in the house.   It took some balls to do that, and keep up a fake (but very poor!) accent for hours at a time, and also react in a reasonable manner without any script.  On another tack, I think if she had come into the house as just a \’normal\’ (is anyone normal in there?) housemate, she would have provided a greater spark, than she did as a \’fake\’!!  Why not put her back in as herself?Like others, all this \’on and off\’ sound, and repetetive film loops of cameras, lights and objects is driving me scatty!I am an inveterate \’people watcher\’ – and even at over 70 years of age (am I the oldest \’fan\’? – I think most regular viewers are teen and twenties!), I get quite a few moments amongst the hours of drivvel where I have a chuckle, or be even more amazed at human stupidity.I think it will be a \’hoot\’, if Charley gets evicted, then goes throught the interview process with Davina, and sees and hears what people think of her!     It would be even funnier if she was told not to reveal that she had seen or knew who had voted or said what.   How long could she keep her big mouth shut?    I am fed up too with her constant arse-flashing – revolting rather than sexy!!Kind regards to all bloggers!John

  10. Coops - says:

    Thank you all for your comments so far. I have to laugh at Adamski The Killer\’s contribution and Kaiser Soze, how on earth can it be racist to compare Charley\’s nose to the Dulux colour chart? Political correctness gone mad if yer ask me…

  11. Oliver says:

    i think that yeh the first part with thaila was a bit dull, but in all fairness the evictions gonna b ace and i still luv bb.
     
    GET BRIAN OUT [jade goody is equally as ignorant as the guy whos never heard of shakespeare so why should we cheer one and not the other]

  12. Jinx says:

    All just a bit predictable. maybe just leave them alone and see what happens? they are all waiting for bb to mess with them and they are prepared mentally.ironicly that may be the next twist!

  13. alison says:

    really liked bb but getting bored with it now hope this is the last year.Getting losers in now time to quit

  14. john says:

    Hi…as someone who has never been so stupid as to watch BB i welcome the calls for this to be the last series…in the past i have flicked threw the channels and stopped on BB for a few minutes…it seems from what i read on MSN that BB is having the final throw of the dice…the paint has dried and the ideas to keep people watching have gone from being interesting to down right scraping the barrel\’s bottom…why don\’t they just end this nonsense…they should have went out when the show was some sort of success but greed is a great thing…the makers will milk this till it dies a slow death…and as i said…from reading about it on MSN it\’s nearly there…BB…RIP

  15. Graeme says:

    Well, call me mad if you want, but I was deeply offended by the whole "chocolate/faeces/black skin" saga/ordeal.  Lol was I bollocks! Now do the sensible thing and realise that it\’s just as silly to censor a word "in case someone gets hurt by it". Oh, I still think it was a terrible article- you can\’t really do apathy while making an effort, especially in an effort to be funny about something which is already hilarious in and of itself! So yeah, next time you wanna dictate an opinion to the gullible masses, avoid the whole "why (Big Brother) is so last season" approach.  Dontcha just lurve hacks, prrp!  Keep watching people- Brian to win!

  16. Unknown says:

    I am sick of this years BB its getting boring and running out of ideas. Please,please get Nicky and Charley out they are arrogant,obnoxious and vain. Oh! some one sort out Chanelle and tell her to open her eyes and realise Ziggy( what ever his name is) is using her. I also want to know is how are they going to evict all these people before the show ends,as there seems to be alot of people in the house?

  17. jane says:

    hiiiiiya x

  18. Francesca says:

    Charley, Charley, The truth is i can not stand that girl and i find it hard to imagine that any guy would actually want her as a girlfreind. I am not disputing the fact that she is an attractive girl BUT her personality makes her so very ugly. Charley seems to think shes going to be so famous because of Big Brother when in reality who would employ her? I would love to ask charley what she thought that she could gain from going into the big brother house acting like a super, bully bitch. Did she expect people to like her? Every one i know can\’t stand her, alot of celebrities on t.v say they can\’t stand her either. Charley needs to wake up to her self and be more caring of what people actually think of her if she want to go far in this world. What a vicious creature. I was disgusted by the way she spoke to Brian that time (when she was wearing that hideous clown costume – she looked better actually) . She actually made a grown man sob his eyes out and that is sick. Brian didnt deserve that, he\’s the most genuine in the house and deserves to win other any of them. I cant even beleive that that argument was over Emily after she stupidly said the n***** word on national t.v. I wouldnt have wanted to live with her either. She was the one who protested how intelligent she was. I was disgusted by what she said. I don\’t believe she meant it in a direct racist way but it\’s pretty messed up if you think you can go around saying that to people as \’a gesture of affection\’ – as said her self by Emily. Every one knows that its a derogotory term thats used to oppress and offend black people and has links to slavery. What was she thinking.  

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