Thanks, But No Pranks

 
A bit of an own goal for Manchester United and England defender Rio Ferdinand as his ITV show All-Star Wind-Ups has been axed. For viewers that displayed extraordinarily good judgement and avoided it like the plague, it was as near to a pitiful rip-off of MTV’s Punk’d as it’s possible to get. Only, they had bigger stars, better pranks and an aesthetically pleasing host in Ashton Kutcher. 
   
We were first introduced to the All-Star Wind-Ups concept during last year’s World Cup. The prank? Rio trying to convince Wayne Rooney that his dog was dead, although it wasn’t really. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. There’s more imagination to ‘Knock Down Ginger’. 
 
The show got off to a poor start after Jayne Middlemiss was trapped in a lift – she required medical attention because she suffers from claustrophobia. It was downhill from there. In addition to stunts going wrong, there’s the little matter of the presenter. The ITV bod who gave this rubbish the green-light can’t have seen a post-match Rio interview. If so, it would’ve been apparent that the man can barely form a sentence, let alone communicate one. And he has about as much charisma as a tin of sago pudding. It was doomed from the start. Still, one less minging programme clogging up the TV schedules is fine by me. However, it got me thinking about other TV shows footballers would be useless at hosting: David Beckham – Mastermind; Wayne Rooney – How To Look Good Naked and Ashley Cole – Deal Or No Deal. Any other suggestions? Send them in…
 
Today I am mostly lovin’ – UKTV Gold’s Dallas re-runs. JR Ewing has just been shot. "’Citin’!" as Russell Brand would say.
 
Today I am mostly hatin’ – That bloomin’ freshener advert with the precocious kid on the toilet crying: "It’s all gawn! It’s all gawn!" Fer Pete’s sake, bugger off!
 
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3 Responses to Thanks, But No Pranks

  1. Unknown says:

    Typical Gooner. Moaning about United players and an ex-Gooner. How many of your lot are on TV? Leave Rio alone. 

  2. Jacky says:

    i actually enjoyed rios wind ups- i thought he was good and so were the wind ups- specially becks ruuning off in moss side- brilliant!

  3. Terry says:

    what is this all about??

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